I do a lot of different things. Being a gemini I am convinced that my various personalities have gotten me involved in my many interests and so far they've all managed to live together in relative peace. No black outs and no feuds between my imaginary friends.
First of all, I am a singer. I am a member of the Dallas Opera chorus, I sing in concerts, cabaret shows, musical theater and anything else that happens to come down the pipeline. I have a Masters degree in voice and I'm currently working on a doctorate in music. I was trained as a "classical" singer and after years of frustration and metaphorically hitting my head against a brick wall I am coming to realize that all classical music does is frustrate and depress me. My heart just isn't in it. I get little or no fulfillment from performing arias and art songs. I put off my last recital for more than a year and a half because I just couldn't get excited about it. (More about this in a future blog.)
On the other hand I LOVE LOVE LOVE musical theater, cabaret and the Great American Songbook. I never get tired of it. I loooove performing the songs of Kern, Berlin, the Gershwins, Loesser, Rome, Arlen, etc, etc, and so forth. In the time I was supposed to be learning the music for my last recital I performed two or three cabaret shows and participated in a christmas review. Each show contained new material and I didn't have any problem getting it learned in a hurry. I am currently trying to find a way to give a GAS (Great American Songbook) concert as my last degree required recital and make it look terribly stuffy and high brow as these academic presentations are want to be.
As you may have already guessed, I am caught between two very different worlds. Among my classical colleagues I seem to be a very black sheep. When I try to discuss cabaret, musical theater or famous singers of the past or present and how amazing they were or are on stage, I am usually met with indifference. Their eyes glaze over and they usually respond with a polite, "that's interesting" or "I haven't heard of this person." Many of them have never heard of the composers I love and aren't familiar with their songs. What's more, they just don't seem to be interested which is frustrating for many reasons that will be probably be discussed in a future blog.
this indifference extends to the faculty and I don't think this is a problem only at my school. Whenever you bring up musical theater or the great Tin Pan Alley composers they roll their eyes. They'll tell you, "Oh, I love that song!" or "I LOVE musical theater!" but when push comes to shove they turn their noses up at the GAS and don't take it seriously.
And yet, whenever a floor show is required for one of their many fund raising dinners or scholarship awarding ceremonies they ask for, SURPRISE, SURPRISE, musical theater. It's fine as long as it's presented between the chicken and pasta and desert but not as part of the music department's curriculum. The Irony is not lost. (I could go on and on about this but I won't right now. Stay tuned to read about this in a future blog.)
On the other hand, my musical theater friends seem to have a lot of respect for what I do as a classical artist. They freely admit they don't know a lot about it and they've probably never attended a concert or the opera but they appreciate the hard work and level of expertise it takes. I have never felt judged by my musical theater compadres. They are a wonderful, supportive bunch and I love them dearly.
There in lies the conflict. I am constantly being pulled in both directions and frustrated by the tug of war. I know which world I would like to spend all of my time in but the other is constantly pulling me back to that brick wall. I have the bruises on my head to prove it.
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